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Haven’t written in a long time. I used to do it all the time. And then on the trip it just got to be too much. I tried retelling some stories last night and there was a beginning, a middle, an end, but it felt like there was no weight, and i knew there was a point i was trying to make, but i couldn’t quite get it out.
This is what happened, this was my experience, I want to share it. But to find humor in it, where maybe there was none… there was absurdity sure. but there is absurity here, too. the striking classism, the segregated bathrooms - it’s division. and i think it’s fucking ridiculous.
but i’ll try to tell stories. I can talk about the reactions I got when I used the women’s bathroom at eating establishments, but Micah seems to tell it better than I can. I was just aloof. I didn’t realize it would be an issue. If anything, there seems to be a reluctance to question the signs we follow.we’re told where we can or can not go, where our bodies belong. but who is to say?
When I was talking with students at Brooklyn College I brought up the issue of having unisex bathrooms, but one objection was safety. One female bodied student said they didn’t think this would be a good idea because they were afraid of being raped. I wasn’t sure exactly how to respond to that. It’s sad as fuck to think that on the whole people can’t be trusted to be in the same space for fear that they might be hurt. but how can that be changed?
I tend to see the good in everyone, and this will undoubtedly be my downfall, but i also think unity should be the goal. i don’t have any solutions, I think progress will be gradual, but there has to be a better way.
And it’s weird now hanging out with groups of friends who (as far as I know) identify as cisgender, when we break into groups based on bodies. Granted, I think my friends would accept me into the women’s room, however even in NY I’ve gotten strange looks when I’ve gone in the “women’s” room (even before I transitioned). There still is this separation based on the bodies we’re born into. I don’t think there can be any evolution until we move past it.
And it’s tough because I’ll hear cisgender male bodied folks talk disparagingly about female bodied people and I’ll want to step in. And sometimes I do, but then sometimes i don’t want to have to fight. and who am i to censor anyone’s thoughts or feelings? Ah, which brings me to being what feels like… undercover… next entry.
